i

I am a girl

I am a south Indian

I am a Bombayite

I am bindaas

I am a doctor

I am a sister

I am a daughter

I am an aunt

I am a student

I am a teacher

I am a girl

I am bright

I am moody

I am smart

I am dumb

I am a girl

I am a helper

I am a snob

I am a dancer

I am a typist

I am a traveler

I am a glutton

I am a researcher

I am a shopper

I am a girl

I am well-mannered

I am lazy

I am a pig

I am scared

I am a wait-er

I am an escape-er

I am a love-er

I am a hold-er

I am a girl

I am different

Know this

Think over it

Decide

I am in your life

Or not.

Tere liye mera ishq sufiyaana

Sochoon tujhe
Toh hai subah
Sochoon tujhe
Toh shaam hai
Manzilon pe
Ab toh meri..
Ek hi tera naam hai

Saath saath chalte chalte
Haath choot jayenge
Aisi raahon mein milo naa
Baatein baatein karte karte
Raat kat jaayegi
Aisi raaton mein milo naa

*sPy sPy sPy*

i have pani puri daily before entering my dance class in the evenings

one day (after 3 months of silent transactions) the pani puri waala asked "u stay there?" pointing at the building across the road, "coz i watch u come daily from there."
i am like "no, i get down from the bus there"
him "and where do u go from here?"
me "dance class"
him "where is that?"
me "down this road, opposite Gold Finch"
him "u teach dance?"
me "no, i go to learn. my teacher lives there"
him "but i dont see u come back this way"
me "my return bus stops in front of their house, so i dont need to come this way"
him "oh"

me in my brain *sPy sPy sPy sPy sPy sPy sPy sPy sPy sPy. he is spying on me*
(why else would he want to interrogate me?)

next day onwards, no pani puri !!!!
_______________________________________________

Every Saturday night i have sweet paan in front of my hospital
paan waala and me have a good jovial relationship
we joke, openly exchange information, i tell him he has no sense of business (who comes from UP to open a paan shop in deralakatte?!), he tells me the new recipes he has for paans, etc etc
it is a friendship based on hindi speaking bonding in a south indian land and sweet treats for my teeth
but one fine day, after this healthy exchange of banter and paan between us, i paid him the said amount for the paan and was about to leave like always
but he refuses to take the money sayin that the paan is free today. And im like arre bhai kyun? kis khushi mein?
and he is like no no, take it. i dont want the money. i place the note of money on his paan table and run away without waiting for my eligible change.

me in my brain *sPy sPy sPy sPy sPy sPy sPy sPy sPy sPy. he is spying on me*

(again - who comes from UP to open a paan shop in deralakatte? how else can a UP paan waala with a wife and kids back home afford to give away free paans? why doesn't he have the UP accent that rajeev shrivastav has on that comedy program on tv? somebody is obviously paying him more than enough money so that he doesn't mind distributing free paans once in a while. and here that spy / undercover agent thought that if he treats me with a free paan he can loosen my tongue and get more information out of me! humph! he doesn't know whom he is dealing with!)

Next Saturday onwards, no evening walks, no sweet paan chewing while doing weekly grocery shopping

Now I do all my shopping at the convenience store near college but before I enter i turn around 360 degrees, check for suspicious movement and then enter.

I just hope The Other Side doesn't recruit the convenience store staff too into their team. But I know its just a matter of time before they do. . . . 

Confessions of the wandering mind. . .

At the rate at which I'm going, I think I'm going to need a full time live-in shrink living with me. . .

#God, please take care of the Mad for they cannot take care of themselves. Amen. 

Daily Dose #5

Love is the reason that makes u switch off the alarm and get up

ofcourse, u can choose to love yourself
or ignore yourself and love another.

*tiny whisper inside my head: "Love yourself ! Love yourself !"*

Daily Dose #4

are u afraid of losing THE ONE?
or are u afraid of losing ANYONE?

Hum kaale hain toh kya hua dilwale hain

yesterday afternoon i thought i was lucky

but my this foolish thought lasted only for 10 mins 

there i was waiting by the road side for my Deralakatte to city bus to arrive

i was jus hoping it wouldn't be too full and i would get a place to sit

and within 1 minute whoooooooooooooooooshhhh....

one car passes by me and halts in front of me

window rolls down

one of my previous teacher's faces pops out

"Mangalore city? he asks

i thank the living daylight and nod "Yes! Yes Sir" vigorously 

he says "hop in"

ooooooooooooooooooohhh....badhiya hain

bus jaye baadh mein

main toh city AC waale car mein jaa rahi hu :)

at this point i make the mistake of beginning to think im lucky

am i lucky? really? am i?

wait n watch

5 mins of chit chat

how r u ; how is family ; what are ur kids doing Sir ; how is clinic work ; what research are u doin nowadays etc etc small talk

Then . . . (this is gettin good now, watch out)

He asks : so what are u now? 24 - 25 ?

Me: (gulp) Sir, 25

He: TWENTY FIVE? and u r not married? (in shock, eyes popping out)

Me: not yet sir (really apologetic now coz i feel i have done some heinous crime by now)

He: really?

Me: no sir. not married. (im feelin very guilty by now)

*awkward silence follows*

Me: sir, but my coPG is gettin married next month.  (ya right ! like that compensates for the crime i did! but what can i do? awkward silences get the worst out of me!)

Him: hmmmm. . . .

by now he has drifted out into his own world and i know that coz i have seen that same look on many people's faces now. 

the 'she-is-25-and-not-yet-married-Dal-mein-kuch-toh-kaala-hain' look

i get the "dal mein kuch toh kala hain" look a lot

like in my evening dance classes,

the kids who dance with me are in a puzzle when they see me:

Puzzle No. 1 : why is such an old person dancing?

Puzzle No. 2 : do we call her 'aunty' and offend her? or do we call her 'akka' and offend ourselves?

u see, age wise, i am twenty plus five = 25. 

not a decent age for a decent girl to be a decent single in a decent india. 

Oh no no no. 

Dal mein kuch toh zaroor kaala hain . . . . 

Bomb chikki Bomb

i did something that i shouldn't have done today
so i read something that i shouldn't have read today
so now i know something that i shouldn't have know today (or ever!)

oh God, why do i do this?
am i schizophrenic?
is my paranoia so out of control that i need to know what is happening everywhere
why dont i jus watch Aaj Tak news channel 24 X 7 if i was so interested in the happenings outside of me?
the main intention of the act (the doing) in the first place was to do a good deed for somebody
but noooooooooo....
when has that ever worked out fine for me?
i have to look around
i have to see if something more interesting (read 'more fun') is there some place else
screw Benjamin.
The Curious Case of Netra who has brains the size of a Button
 is the new 'in' thing

Too many bombs being dropped everywhere
and no, im not talking abt the Lashkar-e-Toiba types (if CIA / FBI / World Intelligence is scanning the internet all over the world am i going to be highlighted and picked up for questioning coz i used the "L" word here?)
im talking abt the emotional bombs
Kaboom  Kasshhooom Kadhhooom   (ok, i really dont know bomb sounds well)
i had 3 bombs on me this week
well actually 2 bombs burst
3rd one i know is on its way to burst
and thats like the worst part !!!!
and i cant even pray to God for it
coz i jus read somewhere that we as humans are so silly
we pray to God and ask for the silliest things day after day
 "oh God, plz let me have an iPhone"  
"oh God, plz let there be an earthquake today so that exams get cancelled"
 "oh God plz let there be dim yellow lighting in the restaurant tonight so that my acne prone skin looks marginally better in the pics" etc  etc
but at the end moment when hell is really up on us (near and dear ones battling for life in the ICU, waiting for ur own lab results to diagnose u with or without a fatal disease, tsunami heading towards ur town) u really have no face to ask God for anything  coz u used up all ur brownie points wit God for an iPhone, good report card and Fair-N-Lovely skin
so what u gonna do now?
what CAN u do?
jus strengthen urself
and prepare for the bomb to burst
KAAAAAABOOOOOOM !!!!!!!

i like SPOON-ing :)

Confession of the Day:
i carry a spoon in my purse ALL the time.
some may never leave the house without their credit cards
some without their cellphone charger
some without their lipgloss
for me, its my spoon.
and im not talking abt any generic random spoon here
i carry my 2nd best stainless steel wide mouthed spoon (i have a big mouth so i need a wide spoon otherwise i dont get the 'real' feeling of eating. Note for you, the reader: if u have invited me to ur place for lunch and u gimme a small spoon then might as well u cud have asked me to not come in the 1st place!)

when i sit in the bus and start my journey back towards hostel in the night, i open my purse, remove the green coloured nuts seasoned with salt and mirchi and then i remove my. . . . spoon and starting enjoying my night meal.
ppl in the bus mostly stare at me thinking
"aaleno kaythol purse ada spoon oondaa?!" :O
(for the tulu illiterate: "she has a SPOON in her purse?!? in shock and disbelief)

khaane ka sahi mazza tabhi aata hain when :

(no! not "namak swaad anusaar" u sanjeev kapoor fan!)

When:

1. You have the right sized spoon made of the right material
(plastic spoon is a waste - for me and the environment)

2. Your mom is feeding u food with her own hands
(Mom has fed me the lame-est dishes when im ill, eg: ganji, sweet corn soup, etc. and they still end up tasting un-freaking-believably good. what is the funda with that? is it the human touch that tastes so good? i think so, coz now that i recollect i like biting my boyfriend too. used to enjoy biting my sister too in childhood. maybe im a closet cannibal just acting like a vegetarian in this world.)

Daily Dose #3

Sitting on the last bench of Deralakatte bus is like sitting in a roller coaster without a bie-bie
Clutching my chest like I have a MI or experiencing palpitations for the first time
Note to self & other ladies out there: Avoid last seat in dk buses.

Daily Dose #2

go watch the movie "The Terminal"
very few times in my life i will tell u to go watch a movie
this is one of those times
go watch "The Terminal"
more like, go download "terminal" now on utorrent and then watch it coz it aint playin in the theatres.
but still - Moral of the story - go watch "The Terminal" starring Tom hanks and Catherine Zeta Jones.
steven Spielberg ne direct kiya hain aur bhai kya direct kiya hain?!

Daily Dose #1

if u are a man, u wont drive behind a bus.
ego hurt hota hain yaar.

i argued over it 6 years ago and i say the same thing now. but this time i dont need to argue. i know i am right.

Ragging does NOT help.

i have kids who wish me "Good Morning Ma'am" daily nowadays. i dont know their names but i recognize their faces and i know they are my students.
i do not throw them out of my class for talking. 99 % of them dont talk in my class coz i teach like i teach myself or i would teach my own kid or Rhea.
i am not mean to them in the lab. if they dont get the correct results, i let them rest and then ask them if they are up for re-doing the procedure again.
if they dont know the normal values, i dont roll my eyes. i ask them to open the book, read it out. close the book and repeat it thrice.
im pretty sure all these kids know my name. i barely know any of their names.

but with ragging i remember it was the exact opposite.
the Ragger would know all the Ragees names but the Ragees most of the times were clueless as to who their Ragger/Tormentor was. they jus recognized the sadistic face and its dark shadow.

if u need to rag a person to get him/her to wish u "Good morning Ma'am" now i know for pretty sure tat they are saying that but are really wishing "Wish u were dead 2dy morning, Bitch"